I feel within me discontent, the stirrings of revolution and rebellion. This is most certainly not unnatural - throughout history the waltz of revolution, war, and peace has spun lazily around in a cyclical dance with no known end - but I have previously wanted nothing more than stability and happiness. No, that is wrong; underneath obediance has always lurked the desire for reform. Perhaps I am too attuned to the inadequacies of the world, perhaps even the inadequacies within ourselves, and wish to be the catalyst of change. I have never been a submissive person, but simply a relaxed one, preferring to let events blur around me rather than sweep me into the winds of chance. But now I find that I want to really and truly experience all that life has to offer, I want to take chances and do crazy things, I want to feel the cold air within my lungs and say that when this exhistence is over, when me as Sophia the wise has passed, I can let my body dissove with the satisfaction that I have seen all there is to be seen, and lived and loved without waste, and left my mark upon the world. Death is only feared because we regret not living. Have I been living in an everlasting sleep, with storm clouds rolling past unabated? Am I coward to take an easy road? The world is so beautiful and raw and full of danger, and I wish to stand alone and live for myself, make my own choices, and do what I feel is good. For I know instrinsically that I am destined for something, or perhaps I delude myself that I am, and I know that I am extraordinary, and I need to trust myself and struggle to rise above the material.

Life is about choice, and mistakes, and the reward of living carefully will only be regret.