After giving away the dog, known in some undercircles as the devil incarnate, my sister is now hooting about getting two cats. I, having collapsed onto the sofa after completeing the Herculean task of cleaning the kitchen that had been swallowed into the eighth circle of hell, merely gasped weakily before surrendering to darkness.

I believe we should get some semblance of proper living back before we plunge into the horrific endeavor of two more small animals. I don't exactly relish the idea of a pair of mewling balls of destruction clawing their way up my spine and planting themselves firmly in my hair.

I would rather enjoy heaving myself out the Industrial revolution of which we had been living and back to the twenty first century.

You can't blame me, can you?

I thought not.