I'm sick, it's been raining nonstop for the past four days and mostly for the last week and a half (quite coincidentally the second after school got out in a bizarre method of torture), my contact lense it irritating my eye, I'm perpetually dizzy, nothing is on TV, and I have an omnipresent feeling that I should be doing something far more productive or engaging.
On a more optimistic note, however, I have survived high school with a successful, if not a tad too Dawson's Creek-esque graduation, gotten a new computer, have fabulous hair and some good books to dig into, as well as the knowledge that yes, I will get another car in the near future.
I couldn't fall asleep a few night ago. I kept turning over and feeling my heart thud in my chest and obsessing over the possibility of death, of God and religion, and feeling a slight panic that I was intensely confused about what would occur if I was to die, what morals I follow, and the overall structure or meaning of life. The names of Soviet dictators also kept running through my head coupled with an extremely annoying song (the title of which I cannot now recall), only adding to my frustration.
I bought the Dalai Lama's "The Art of Happiness" two days ago to try to realign myself spiritually (I do really believe in the necessity of compassion, experiencing the moment, and freeing oneself from materialism) and to help me focus on the good rather than the bad, which I obviously tend to accentuate.
I suppose this summer I need to redefine my goals and beliefs, find that the end of one dream does not mean the end of all others, and that I cannot simply 'give up' because I'm attending a less than desirable college.
I need to, above anything else however, be true to myself.

God vs. Reason

Arguments for:
1. Some supernatural element beyond scientific explanation must be responsible for the creation of our known world, because logic is incapable of explaining otherwise
2. There have been documented miracles and otherwise unexplainable religious phenomena
3. Love and morality, the general desire to do good rather than harm, points to the human condition as one that is inclined toward these divine elements, therefore acting in accordance with a surreal being

Arguments against:
1. The creation of a deity is more likely a psychological inclination than an inherent truth
2. A set code of morals or singular religious belief condemning all non-believers to eternal sufferening is inconsistent with the portrait of a just and loving creator
3. The world, with all its superfluous sufferings and unfairness, does not seem to be the product of a kind, omniscient, and omnipotent being
4. Religious belief is all purely subjective
5. Why would such a being create mankind as flawed and ultimately doomed?
6. Why condemn mankind to a set of religious codes that most will be unable to follow, therefore knowingly damning them?
7. Why allow for the suffering of innocents, of children, who have done nothing and broken no divine law?
8. Why allow for infinte forgiveness of all sins when, at death, judge between redemption or condemnation?
9. Why allow for free will but also require absolute obedience?
10. How could a God condone slaying in His name, when He also teaches that all human life is precious?
11. If religion and God is inherently good, than why have the world's theocracies failed, the greatest atrocities committed in God's name, and a democratic, non-religious state proven most effective and stable?